Nancy Burger invites us to look at gratitude from a different perspective. In her latest piece, the keynote speaker explores how the things we focus on every day shape what we appreciate—and how easily we can overlook the people and positive moments right in front of us. By becoming more aware of what gets our attention, we can strengthen our relationships and create a more appreciative workplace.

Check out Nancy’s article below.

The Thinking Habit Behind Meaningful Appreciation

What Are You Noticing? The Thinking Habit Behind Meaningful Appreciation

As the year draws to a close, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the months behind us. Whatever holidays you celebrate—or don’t—this time of year offers an opportunity to consider what we’ve experienced, what we’ve learned, and the people who have made a difference along the way.

It’s also a natural time to think about gratitude. We know that practicing gratitude can benefit our personal and professional relationships. But I’ve been wondering whether gratitude has less to do with how often we express appreciation and more to do with what we’re paying attention to in the first place. 

But I’ve been wondering whether gratitude has less to do with how often we express appreciation and more to do with what we’re paying attention to in the first place. After all, we can’t appreciate what we fail to notice.

What Gets Our Attention?

Think about a typical workday. Between managing competing priorities, solving problems, correcting mistakes, and anticipating what might go wrong, much of our attention is directed toward things that need fixing.

Why is that?

Our brains are wired to pay keen attention to potential threats and negative experiences—a tendency psychologists call negativity bias. It’s a useful survival mechanism, but it can also influence how we interpret everyday situations and interact with the people around us.

We notice the colleague who misses a deadline, but not necessarily the one who consistently delivers on time. We remember the difficult conversation more vividly than the dozen productive ones that preceded it. We focus on the employee who needs additional guidance while overlooking the one who quietly helps everyone else succeed.

Over time, these patterns of attention can shape our perceptions, expectations, and relationships.

Sometimes the obstacle to appreciation isn’t a lack of gratitude. It’s what we’ve become accustomed to noticing.

When the Familiar Becomes Invisible

There’s an interesting paradox in our relationships, both personal and professional. The people we depend on most can become the easiest to overlook.

When someone consistently follows through, anticipates problems, supports colleagues, or makes our lives easier, their contributions become part of the background of our everyday experience. We haven’t necessarily stopped valuing them. We’ve simply stopped noticing the things they’ve made so reliably familiar.

Like the employee who routinely volunteers to help a new colleague get up to speed, or the person who notices a potential problem and quietly resolves it before anyone else is aware. These contributions may never appear in a performance report or warrant a formal award, yet they can have a meaningful impact on how effectively a team operates.

And because these behaviors happen consistently, they can become easy to take for granted. We may be quick to recognize exceptional achievements while paying considerably less attention to the everyday actions that make those achievements possible.

For leaders, this can have meaningful consequences. Employees want to know that their efforts matter, and recognition is one way to communicate that. But meaningful appreciation requires more than a scheduled acknowledgment or an occasional thank-you.

It requires paying attention.

And that begins with examining the thought patterns that influence what we see.

Recognition and Appreciation Aren’t Quite the Same Thing

Organizations often invest considerable time and resources in employee recognition programs. Celebrating wins, recognizing milestones, and acknowledging outstanding performance are important leadership practices. But these efforts don’t necessarily capture the full range of contributions that deserve appreciation. 

Recognition often focuses on what someone has accomplished. Appreciation can extend to how someone contributes along the way, like: 

• The colleague who asks a thoughtful question that changes the direction of a meeting. 
• The employee who remains patient and constructive during a difficult customer interaction. 
• The team member who makes space for a quieter colleague to share an idea.

None of these moments may qualify as extraordinary achievements, but each reflects behavior that contributes to a healthier, more productive workplace.

When leaders notice and acknowledge these contributions, they communicate something important about what matters within their organizations. They also reinforce behaviors they would like to see repeated.

But they have to notice those behaviors before they can acknowledge them.

A Different Way to Practice Gratitude

In my work as a keynote speaker and executive coach, I help people recognize and challenge the automatic thought patterns that influence how they communicate, make decisions, and respond to the world around them.

My Spot. Check. Flip. Lock.™ framework offers a practical way to interrupt those patterns and make more deliberate choices.

The same process can help us become more intentional about appreciation.

Spot. Notice where your attention naturally goes. When you think about a colleague, employee, or team, what comes to mind first? Their shortcomings? The problems you’re trying to solve? The things they haven’t accomplished?

Check. Question whether you’re seeing the complete picture. Are you overlooking contributions because they’ve become expected? Have you formed assumptions about someone that influence what you notice—and what you miss?

Flip. Consider another perspective. What effort, improvement, strength, or contribution might deserve more attention? This isn’t about ignoring problems or glossing over challenges. It’s about expanding your perspective to include information you may have overlooked.

Lock. Put that broader perspective into practice. When you notice something worth acknowledging, say something. Be specific about what the person did and why it mattered. The more deliberately you practice noticing, the more opportunities for meaningful appreciation you may discover.

Appreciation Begins Before We Say Thank You

Imagine a manager whose employee routinely steps in to help colleagues meet deadlines. Because that employee is dependable, the manager rarely gives it a second thought.

Now imagine the manager taking a moment to recognize that pattern by saying, “I’ve noticed how often you make time to help your colleagues, even when you’re managing a full workload yourself. It makes a difference to this team, and I appreciate it.”

Nothing about the employee’s behavior has changed.

What changed was the manager’s attention—an important distinction because appreciation is most meaningful when it reflects something we’ve genuinely observed, rather than something we feel obligated to say.

There’s another benefit to becoming more deliberate about what we notice: It can challenge the assumptions we’ve formed about other people.

Perhaps you’ve come to think of a colleague as difficult because they frequently question decisions. But when you pay closer attention, you notice that their questions often reveal risks others haven’t considered. You don’t have to agree with their approach to appreciate the contribution they’re making.

That broader perspective can change the quality of your interactions. Instead of responding only to the behavior that frustrates you, you have an opportunity to acknowledge something valuable about the person behind it.

It also reminds us that gratitude doesn’t require grand gestures, elaborate recognition programs, or a special occasion. Sometimes it begins with noticing something that’s been right in front of us all along.

One Thought to Take Into the New Year

As you reflect on the year behind you, consider the people whose contributions have become so familiar that you barely notice them anymore.

Who consistently makes your work easier? Who quietly supports others? Who has grown, persevered, or contributed in ways you may have taken for granted?

And perhaps more importantly, what habits of thinking might have prevented you from noticing?

You might even challenge yourself to notice one contribution each day that you would ordinarily pass over. It could be something a colleague does, something a family member takes care of without being asked, or a small kindness from someone you barely know. When appropriate, take a moment to acknowledge it.

Gratitude is often described as something we should practice more frequently. I’d suggest we begin one step earlier.

Pay closer attention.

You may discover there’s more to appreciate than you realized.

Written by Nancy Burger. 

Book Through Eagles Talent for 2027: End the Year with Gratitude, Start the New Year with Purpose

The final months of the year offer an opportunity to recognize your team’s accomplishments, celebrate the people who made a difference, and reflect on the lessons that will carry you into the year ahead. Gratitude and recognition can help strengthen workplace culture, reconnect teams to a shared purpose, and create a positive foundation for what’s next.

Looking for a keynote speaker to help your team finish 2026 with gratitude and begin 2027 with renewed energy and purpose? Explore Eagles Talent’s speakers to find the right speaker for your year-end event, leadership meeting, or corporate celebration.